The what ifs.....

Just another Wednesday night at the Smith house, getting the kids ready for bed when all of a sudden....
I notice a message from a friend expressing her concern about the 24 MEU, and how they lost 2 men. IMMEDIATELY I start to research whats going on. Seconds later I find, http://www.militarytimes.com/news/2012/04/marine-morocco-embassy-says-2-killed-crash-041112/

I read it, then re-read it and my heart starts racing. I cant stop thinking about the last conversation I had with Adam. He was bummed out that he was NOT going to be able to get off the ship and train in Morocco. BUT the what ifs entered my mind and I panicked. I forward the link to my in-laws and a close friend. Reminder to all this is Adam and my first ever deployment. I put the kids in bed trying not to let on that anything is going on. As soon as I walk out of Allie's room I fell to my knees and started praying and through tears I begged, that Adam would be ok, safe and sound on the ship.

Thoughts all night while watching the news, talking with friends and researching for updates on-line, I could not help but think about the what ifs. What if Adam was needed to help train and was on that helicopter. What if he was one of those who are injured or deceased! WHAT IF?!! The thoughts just drove me crazy. Everyone just kept telling me "NO news is GOOD news". I could not get it out of my head. I was dreading the thought.....what if i heard my door bell ring!

The waiting game, hours felt like they were going by at a snails pace. I just wanted the media or the Marine corps to release the names of those involved in the crash. I wanted for my own selfish reasons to have some sense of relief. I WANTED more than anything an email or a phone call from my husband reassuring that he was safe and sound. BUT as I found out, ALL communication was shut down until families of those involved were notified.

When I finally woke up from what little sleep I did get, a friend of mine called and tried to re-assure me that Adam is ok. In my gut, i felt a little better and went about my birthday plans. I was sitting at lunch with some of my friends and I got the email I was waiting for. Then later that night, I got my call! To hear my husbands voice was the best feeling in the world. I am new to this whole deployment thing, but I HOPE I NEVER have to go thought the worry and wait again!

I hope all of you reading this will keep the families of those involved with crash in your prayers. Also for ALL the brave military members overseas!