Secrets to well rounded children

What is the secret to having a fun, intelligent, healthy, creative kid? There is no magic potion, no quick fix. It all starts the day you bring your little one home. Lead by example. Below is a list of things we have done as a family to help out our little ones be all that they can be.

*Pray- first and foremost, pray for everything. God will bless you with the opportunities  to practice the things you need help with, like patience. Let your mini me see you pray. Have them Pray along side of you. Teach them God wants to hear everything, from their day to their hopes and fears. We started with bedtime prayers, in time our daughter would memorize and recite it every night. Let your little one give thanks for dinner. When you are feeling overwhelmed or see an accident on the side of the road pray about it out loud, your little one will catch on and do it to.

*Talking and communication- first up is baby talk, as tempting as it may be, don't do it. You look and sound ridiculous when you do. Talk in a normal, everyday voice. Talk about what you are doing, the weather, the traffic, ANYTHING, just talk to your little one. They don't care what you are saying, just that you are talking TO them. As your child gets older they will be a chatter box and NEVER stop talking. Encourage them to ask you anything and always give them an honest answer. If you don't know the answer, tell them that and ask someone or look it up. So many times when are child asks why? we have a tendency to say because I said so or that's the way it is. Instead tell them why they cant play by the road or why people are mean to them. Great communication starts with you. What a great foundation you can set with your little one to have open and honest communication with you.

*Gender & Educational toys- Why do we as a society say our child cant play with trucks because she is a girl or baby dolls because he is a boy? I'm telling you to have a well rounded child you should have ALL sorts of toys. I'm a stickler for having my child start learning asap,  so why not buy a few educational toys. Pricey but beneficial. As annoying as some of those toys are, it's the repetition that will be key to your child learning new things.

*2nd language- being of Hispanic decent I wanted Allie to learn more Spanish growing up then I did. I researched and bought books. I labeled EVERYTHING in our house. By age 2 she knew all of her colors, numbers to 10 and how to say kiss in Spanish. By age 5 she knew colors and household objects.

*Get down and play- get off your phone, computer, stop cooking and cleaning for a few minutes and PLAY with your child. Having a good imagination is a wonderful thing to have. Your child may not remember the delicious meal you prepared or the house being spotless everyday BUT they will recall memories of being dinosaurs and princesses.

*Creativity- drawling, singing, dancing etc. encourage your child to do and try all sorts of things. DON'T push your dreams on your child, let them make their own. Show your little one how proud you are of their masterpiece and display it on the fridge, or hold a recital every month that features their dancing talents.

*Reading - from day 1, let your child see you read, the paper, a magazine, a novel, the BIBLE, encourage your child to love reading. When Allie was a toddler I would read my devotional and have her sit next to me and look at the pictures in her book. I would ask her based on the pictures what do you think is happening and than I would read the story to her. As your little one gets older ask thought provoking questions about the story.

*Preschool- my child started at age 2, at our local church. She loved going and her teachers were amazing. It gives you a break, while providing an atmosphere where your child will learn the basics.

*Plan daily lessons- it doesn't have to be anything crazy big, kids have short attentions spans so just make it fun. You might learn something right along with your child. When Allie was little we would do mini lessons on everything. For example farm animals -drawling pictures, saying names and making the noises of the animal. Now that she is 6, we pick things together that she is interested in like dinosaurs, planets and stars, different sports etc. We go to the library and get books specific to what she wants to learn about and read anything and everything on it. Then we do a craft relating to it and try to do some kind of "field trip" associated.

*Workbooks- sure they sound boring but when we go on long trips or when we are sitting in the waiting room I bring along a workbook. It keeps them busy and helps them learn.
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*Exercise- Lead by example. Show your children how important health, nutrition and exercise is. Get up, get out and get moving. I am big about getting a workout in during nap time but sometimes kids don't follow your schedule (shocking I know) so involve them instead. Do things that they can do along side you.

*Hygiene- nothing smells better than a clean baby in clean pj's. Bath time in our house is fun time. We have tub crayons and every toy imagined for our little ones to play with. In the early years we brushed Allie's teeth. We started when Allie got her first tooth at 5 months. By setting the precedent early on, Allie knows to brush every night and it's part of the no cavities club. Potty training is different for every parent but here are a few examples of what worked for us. Take your child into bathroom and set them down on their potty every time you need to go. When they do go, celebrate it, sing, clap, cheer them on. Reward them, we did sticker charts and when filled up she got to have a sweet treat or little toy. My mom said shiny penny's in my piggy band did the trick for me.

 *Eat the rainbow- sounds silly I know but simply saying it intrigued my child. When I bring her a plate full of all colors she gets excited about eating a rainbow:) It takes a few minutes of prep to cut the celery, peel a banana or orange, wash the strawberries and cauliflower but it is well worth it when your little one is eating things that are good for them. Another thing that is a big hit, is the two bite club. She read the story in school and whenever she doesn't want to eat something we tell her she should be part of the two bite club.

*Show them love- hug and kiss them all the time. Twirl them around, hold hands, cuddle, patting them on the back or giving a high five when they do a good job.

*Compliment and volunteering- Tell your child how beautiful or handsome they look in their brand new outfit. Soon they will notice things in others and maybe make someone's bad day better by their kind words. Teach them how to introduce themselves to others. This will be an important when making new friends. Volunteer with or without them around but encourage the action. Tell them how important it is to give back. It could be something as little as picking up a piece of trash or holding a door for someone, just show them that kindness is important in the world we live in.

*Responsibility- I teach it is by doing chores. This involves everyone. instead of saying "go do your chores" I remind Allie what her responsibilities are. Obviously it is age appropriate, I wouldn't expect Caleb at 1 to do all the things Allie does. Caleb LOVES to throw things away so his chore is throwing away diapers and putting clothes in dryer with my guidance. Allie is expected to clean up after herself after eating and playing. She also gets the mail and helps with dishes. The only room we leave messy and clean once a week is the playroom. Allie knows every Sunday she has to sort and organize the toys.

*Technology- while it is always changing and can be beneficial I encourage limiting their time. Let your little one have time on the computer (their are a ton of kids sites), play the wii/ ds or whatever game system they have, let them watch cartoons or movies (don't you remember doing it too?).

*Discipline- No child can listen and follow directions all the time, when they make a mistake or do something bad, they need to be "punished" . Why? you ask, because hitting, being sassy etc is NOT acceptable behavior.  My husband and I are very stubborn people and we passed that along to our strong willed kids. We have tried EVERY form of discipline and their is no right or wrong for one family, so here are a few things we do in our house. Time out, set a timer for the age of the child (example age 4 = 4 minutes) and have them put their nose in corner. If something happened at daycare or school have them write a note apologizing for their actions. At last resort, take away a beloved object like stuffed animal or special day.

*Special days- have specify days that your child can look forward to. Things that are meant for everyone and things just for your little one. Examples are go to the park day, movie night, bored game night, library days, let them choose what to make for snacks and dinner and let them help make it, computer day (Allie loves to explorer Nick Jr and Disney jr BUT limit time), Wii or Ds day (limit time).

I know what you are thinking HOW do I find the time to do any of this? You simply make time. Your child is important and they need you, now and everyday. By doing some or all of these things does not guarantee a well rounded child but you will have a happy child and what more could you ask for?

We are by NO means a perfect family but I encourage you to think outside the box and be a great role model because our children will be grown and making a difference in the world very soon.

 

"You will NEVER have this day again. Tomorrow they'll be a little older then they were today, this day was a gift. Just breathe, notice, study their faces, and little feet. Pay attention. Relish the charms of the present. Enjoy today it will be over before you know it." I don't know who wrote this but I love it!

Books I recommend:

The Five Love Languages of Children
by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell

Raising your kids to Love the Lord
By Dave Stone

Post baby body

Before I had Alexis I was physically fit. I did 3 sports a year in high school. In college I ran cross country and stayed active helping as the wresting manager. After I had Alexis I got back into really good shape in preparation to join the Marine Corps as an officer. Then surprise #2 & #3 happened and I gave into all those cravings I wouldn't allow myself before. With each child I gained 48-75 pounds! That's crazy right? Had I gained the normal 25/30 pounds I would have no problem losing it right away but I didn't.

During my pregnancy with Allie, I worked out till I was around 6 months. Doing jogging and light lifting. I breastfed Allie for a month and lost 10 pounds right away the rest took some hard work and dedication, 5 days a week. During pregnancy with Caleb I did zumba almost all the way until I gave birth. With Caleb I breastfed him 11.5 months, worked out when I could 3 days a week and dropped 22 pounds the first month post pregnancy and continued to drop a couple pounds every few months. Around a month before I found out I was pregnant I started crossfit and continued to do it until I was 33 weeks. When I got pregnant with Madeline I was still above my goal weight. After Madeline I dropped 18 pounds the first month.

Here is my pregnancy by numbers:

Pre Pregnancy with Alexis 105
weight at delivery 180

pre pregnancy with Caleb 122
weight at delivery 175

pre pregnancy weight with Madeline 138
weight at delivery 186

NOW with my treadmill and crossfit at home I hope to get back to get back in really good shape. I don't plan to get to my pre Allie weight but around 120/130 would be ideal. My body may not look like it did when I was 20 but I hope to be in the best shape of my life. So that I can enjoy life as long as possible with my husband and 3 little monsters.

My doctor said I needed to heal after my surgery and I should be clear to start my regular workout after 8 weeks. Well I'm way to impatient to wait that long and I started working out around a month. I can honestly say I love working out, its my ME time.

My workout schedule
Sunday: no set workout, Sunday is Park day with the kids
Monday: Walk/jog between 3.5-4 miles crossfit workout 30 mins
Tuesday: jog/run treadmill 1-2 miles & isolated legs day
Wednesday: rest day
Thursday: jog/run 1-2 miles & isolated legs day
Friday: Walk/jog between 3.5-4 miles crossfit workout 30 mins
Saturday: If I get a chance I try to get 45 minutes of cardio and/or a kettlebell workout in

Here is to the new me...follow my fitness journey I plan to update at least every other week.

Our newest addition

Here is Madeline's birth story.

We all know that due dates are just a rough idea when baby should make their grand appearance. My due date was July 31, 2013. Now having two previous children I knew in the back of my mind that she wouldn't come early, that most likely she will follow suite of her sibling and be late as well.

On August 1st, I had my 40 week appointment and my doctor gave me the unpleasant news that I was only dilated to 4 and 75% effaced which was an improvement from the week before. He asked if I would like my membranes striped that it could cause me to start the labor process. I had never had this done before and I was very ready to meet our little one, so I said go for it. once he finished he told me that if this doesn't do anything when would I like to be induced. I asked his professional opinion since I've heard mixed thing about being induced and I wasn't with the other two. He said he would rather me be induced before 42 weeks, so we agreed on Wednesday August 7th as my induction and delivery date.

Upon leaving the doctors office I felt great! I grabbed lunch at Atlantic bread company (caught some rather odd looks from people), went to get new tires on Adams car (where a older women asked how far along I was and actually prayed for me), went to the mall to get my hair cut and colored and then finally went over to my in-laws to visit for my brother in laws birthday.

As usual I couldn't sleep so I was downstairs watching lifetime and around midnight that night my back started hurting more then usual. I headed up to bed, hoping that sleeping might help. I kept waking up every couple hours because of how uncomfortable I was. The pain in my back was starting to bring on contraction which to me was no big deal because unlike the other two pregnancies, this time I had been the victim of Braxton hicks contractions and didn't think to much of it. When I finally did get up I texted my husband who at this point had already been at work for hours. He asked me how far apart my contractions were and at that is when I started monitoring them. Once I started writing them down I noticed how strong they started getting and how frequent. I heard Caleb wake up but at this point the contractions would take my breath away and bear down on something till the it passed. A little while later I called my husband and through tears I told him it was time! He hung up and was on his way (around 25 mins away) at the same point my mother in law called and when she heard the pain in my voice she said she was on the way over (around 30 mins away).

The contractions were very unbearable, in the past I eased the pain by taking a shower or hot bath. knowing I had some time to kill, I decided to take a hot shower. At this point I noticed my contractions were 1-2 mins apart and I was starting to worry I would have to give birth by myself in the shower. Moments later Adam came rushing in and started throwing things in a bag. No more then 10 mins later Adams mom arrived and we were on our way to the hospital (which is 35 mins with no traffic). We have a lot of construction going on in our neighborhood and to save time we usually take the construction entrance because it usually is faster BUT it is bumpy. Well thinking it was faster, Adam decided to take the construction entrance in the middle of a contraction, screaming I told him to slow down! Once we get onto the main road we have to cross over some train tracks which in the time we have lived here, I haven't once been stopped by a train. As soon as we pulled up we noticed the red lights and bars going down for train crossing. Adam handed me his water bottle and said hold this. In a rage of panic I yelled "don't you DARE try to beat the train and go through". He yelled something back at me and made a U- turn to go back down the road we came.

It's a good thing that there is more then one way to get to the hospital BUT this other way we were forced to go was slower due to fact its going through little city/town limits. On the road in front of us was one of those obnoxiously huge trucks (you know the ones with the huge tires and big pipes) with 2 country boys just crusing. This really annoyed us because I'm having contraction after contraction possibly having a baby any minute. At the next red light Adam mumbles something and goes to pull next to them and I screamed at him not to (I mean seriously people have crazy road rage they could have pulled a gun out or something). We finally make it to the interstate which of course has traffic. while having contractions Adam is trying to be all sweet and hold my hand and telling me to breathe at which point I just want to scream at him to shut up! But I don't because I'm in to much pain. We are just about to get off on our exit and the traffic is backed up, while having a contraction I tell him that we are so done having kids and I will NEVER go through this again, he agrees with me!

We make it to the hospital and since I never did a hospital tour we have NO idea where to go so we pull up to the ER. one of the nurses see how huge I am and came out with a wheel chair. Trying to ask me questions during my contractions all I can do is nod and hope Adam will answer it for me. Seeing how much pain each contraction gave me they wheeled me right up to an exam room. A nurse came in to check me, I was dilated to 8 so they sent me up to labor and delivery.

Once in labor and delivery I ask the first medical person I see "WHEN can I have the epidural?". seeing my desperation she says I hope we can administer it to you but we have to wait and see what the doctor says and how your blood work comes back. What seems like forever, may have been 15 minutes, the guy came in and administered my epidural. while waiting for it to set in, I'm hoping and praying the guy did it right (with Alexis the guy didn't place it right and had to do it again). Within moments I start to feel amazing! The nurse came in and said that if everything goes well we should have the baby in a few hours and I should rest. I started to feel so good that I told Adam to go move our car from in front of the ER and bring in my bags. Once he got back we were cracking jokes and I remember laughing and being in a good mood. The nurse came back maybe 30 minutes later and just quickly checked me and said "well how do we feel about having a baby right now". I was in shock, she just said I had hours now she is saying I need to start pushing?!

Adam and I look at each other and laugh because we were both tired and looking forward to a nap. The nurse gets me into position and tells me that during my next contraction I need to push, I did and she said ok I need to grab the doctor. Literally the doc came in, said hello, said push during this contraction and out came the baby! We all were in shock she came out so quick and easy. The doctor made the comment that he wishes all his patients were in good moods and smiling right before delivery and that it was this easy every time. Our little one hadn't cried right away but was the color or a blueberry. Once on my chest they started wiping her off and she started screaming. In that moment Adam and I looked at each other and looked at her and just smiled. Our little family was complete!

Why the name change?

When we found out we were having a girl, we reviewed the names we considered for Alexis. Lillian was one of my all time favorites and we agreed on it. once we decided on Lillian we thought Grace went perfect with it. So from 18 weeks to 38 weeks our baby girls name was going to be Lillian Grace Smith. We had things monogrammed, engraved, and hand made with LGS on it. Some point at 38 weeks, I asked Adam if we were sure we liked Lillian and he said of course. I mentioned I wasn't really into it this time around and he asked what other names I had in mind. Jocelyn was another one I loved and then on TV we heard the name Madeline and we looked at each other and said that's it. Of course we couldn't make the decision on Madeline or Lillian and decided to wait till we saw her. When we had her we knew she was a Madeline. BUT now we have regrets. NOT the name but the spelling of her name. Some people might pronounce it Made-line, and we don't want it said that way so we debated changing the spelling to Madelyn but we already received her SS card and her birth certificate has been made.




Madeline Grace Smith
   Born at 12:50 pm
   7 lbs 8 oz
20 inches long

Bye bye Active Duty, Hello Civilian life & Reserve unit

In late February we finally got the word that would forever change our lives. With all of the downsizing of the military we are one of the un-lucky (or lucky) ones to be told thank you for your active duty service but we no longer need you. As of June 30 2013, Adam will no longer be active duty in the Marine corps. We knew that this was a possibility and were proactive about the situation. We were activity job searching and looking into head hunters to help us look for jobs, months before we found out.

Let me be frank for a minute because some people don't know military terms or understand how the officer side works and I feel like I need to explain it. Adam chose to enlist AFTER getting his degree in 2007. He did 2 years of service and applied for the officer program (OCS- officer candidate school). He was accepted in 2009 where he commissioned and was sent all over for artillery school and advance courses. He had a stellar record and in late early 2011 he was selected to promote to Captain. The enlisted side and officer side is different in the aspect of promotions. Enlisted you have different courses and officer side you have to be selected on a bored. Which means people look at your record and choose you without knowing you directly. In my opinion this is a flawed way of doing things. I think your commanding officer should select those who he/she observes and then put on a list to be up for promotion. Instead it's all about how you look on paper. well when Adam turned in his package he hadn't deployed (he was in the process of getting ready to deploy). SO on paper it looks as though he has been in X years and hadn't been to a combat zone. Which for advancement looks better having that experience, BUT he hadn't had any opportunity with the USMC telling him to go to this school, and that school because his knowledge was to important to send him off. I believe with his stellar record, great PFT (physical fitness test, done every 6 months), he was overlooked because he hadn't deployed or held a higher CO/XO billet.

After much debating, Adam decided that he would like to stay in the military on the reserve side. It is just the matter of finding a reserve unit that has a spot open for captain in the USMC. He is also debating the national guard so he can continue to do what he loves, shooting artillery. After 6.5 years, we both knew it would be hard to give something like military life up. He can get his military shooting/drill fix once a month and return to a job that he may like better. Plus the Tricare insurance is a lot cheaper then getting insurance through his new job.

My feelings on the whole thing-
If you have been reading my blog you know Adam and I met in college and he enlisted right after he graduated. This is basically the only life we have known, so it is scary to think it will all be changing. I literally just got the swing of moving, making new friends, volunteering and deployments. It is our normal and to have to change it all of a sudden is both refreshing and upsetting.

What I will miss-
moving every X years,
seeing new places,
meeting new people from all over,
base living,
people relating to your situations,
seeing my husband in uniform EVERYDAY,
the balls/special events,
mandatory fun days,
Medical, dental and vision basically paid for,
The many sounds of freedom at all hours of the night


What I look forward to-
Separation bonus:)
Settling into our NEW house,
establishing our kids in school that they can grow up in,
having a SET schedule for my family,
not having to worry about him and the ever changing deployments/duty/field ops,
not having to say goodbye to close friends every X years,
promotion yearly (or when he can),
many, many more things

Post Deployment Surprise

We found out in early December......we are expecting our third & LAST little blessing....

How I found out...
It was a warm sunny day in December and I felt exhausted and had been experiening morning sickness. I knew that this was a sign that I better take a pregnacy test. I went to the store and bought a Clear blue test. The lines were not as clear as they usually are, so I bought another test and took it a few days later. Sure enough the lines popped right up.

Now to tell the husband...
Caleb has a shirt that says "little brother" so I put duck tape over little and wrote BIG. Now the shirt says "BIG brother". Adam usually comes home for lunch, so about the time i knew he would be coming home I put cinnamon "buns" in the oven. To top it off, I wrapped the tests up in a box and put the box under our freshly decorated Christmas tree. Adam came home, read Caleb's shirt and said "oh no, really?!".  Then I said "If you dont belive me open your gift, oh and by the way grab the buns out of the oven! "

Now to tell Alexis & Caleb...
We usually play on the floor with the kids everyday. Well Alexis went to jump on me and I said "Allie be careful" she asked "why mommy?" and we told her, mommy has another baby in her belly and her reaction with an annoyed sounding voice "oh great, another baby!". Caleb still doesnt know or understand but I beleive he will be jealous. I was holding a friend's little girl and Caleb came up to her, hit her, and cried till I picked him up!

Now to tell the family...
We waited to tell the family until we had an ultrasound done to confirm pregnacy. We usually see family on Christmas so we thought it would be a good idea to share the news then. Well we stayed home this year so we skyped with them and shared the news.

Now to tell the world...
We decided to wait to announce it to the world until I was in my second trimester. I tought it would be a cute idea to get pictures done and send it as a New Years card.

Ready or NOT here comes baby #3!!

End of Deployment!

This is MANY months late, but here it is...
As the months rolled on, Adam informed me he had the choice to stay on ship and visit more stops on the way home OR come home early. Well my homesick husband picked to come home early. I knew that this could possibly be our first, last and only deployment so I wanted to make it special for all of us. I called his mom and dad and told them to come help welcome Adam home, I also DID not tell the kids daddy was coming home. I told Alexis we were going to go take pictures of daddy's men and of us to send to him, and she never thought anything of it because we take pictures all the time!

Days leading up to seeing my husband...
I cleaned the house top to bottom, cleaned out and washed both cars, I worked out like crazy so i would look good, I got my hair done, went shopping for a new outfit. Bought the husband's favorite beer and food. I had heard from Adam, that flights got delayed in one of the countries and day and time kept changing.

Day of homecoming...
I was told it would be wee hours of the night, Friday night/Saturday morning. So we went about our day as if nothing was happening. When it was bedtime I told Alexis, I have a very special surprise when you wake up tomorrow. She was so excited she couldn't sleep. I was so excited i could hardly sleep. Caleb was the only one who sleep the whole night. When I finally shut my eyes my alarm went off, I checked my email and went right back to bed because time got changed AGAIN. Finally got up and around mid morning and then waited! I finally asked my photographer if she could just come over and take pictures of us and the sign we made. Alexis started asking "when do I get my special surprise?" I kept telling her soon. We loaded up and headed to the place where the Marines and Sailors would be getting off the bus. Caleb fell asleep so we decided to stay in car as long as possible. Finally, Adam called and said he would be there in 10 minutes!

My heart was pumping, my hands were sweaty, I was holding my sign that says "It's been 208 days...now get over here and KISS us!". I started to shed a tear as the buses pull up. I started yelling, I can here his mom and dad cheering as well. Then I found his face. I shouted: "Alexis who is that man?" she RUNS up to her daddy who embraces her in his arms and we are all overjoyed! Adam walks up all calm and casual and lays a wet one on me. And I know after many months of sleepless nights, all the stress is over and my heart is complete!